I Will Not Believe

Like most human beings, I’m very sympathetic to the disciple Thomas. Last Sunday’s Gospel reading recounted the story of Thomas’ iconic doubt – his declaration to his friends (who declared Christ risen because they had seen him) that “unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” (Jn. 20:25).

My typical “go-to” thought on this episode has always been, Who could blame the guy?  It’s only human to not accept that dead people come back to life. It’s only human to think that perhaps your friends are simply believing what they want to believe. It’s only human to doubt.

But this year it struck me how defiant Thomas was in his declaration, how he limited himself.

I will not believe.

Thomas had conditions for believing – three of them. Perhaps those conditions were not entirely unreasonable. Perhaps they were not unreasonable at all! But he intractably declared that if these conditions were not met, he would not believe.

When we draw lines in the sand, we box ourselves in. We tell God what is possible. We tell God what we will and will not believe. We don’t leave room for wild and unimaginable (and true) things like resurrection, incarnation, transformation and salvation. We draw a line, and we stay on the safe side.

It’s a shame to miss out on so much.

I’m still sympathetic to Thomas because I know I have my own conditions, my own demands. We all do. Can we be more aware of them? Can we try to let them go? Can we stop drawing lines so God can tell us the truth? Can we believe based on the word of another? Can we let the unimaginable be...real?

Jesus had sympathy for Thomas, too. He made a special trip out to see him. He invited Thomas to have his conditions met – see the marks, put your fingers here, place your hand here, in my side. “Believe,” he urged Thomas.

Jesus won’t give up on us, even if our faith is limited. But how free and wise and faithful we can be, if we believe without conditions.  How free and wise and faithful we can be if we place no limits on what God can do, or where he might be, or how the declaration “He is Risen!” may play out in our own lives.

There are many ways to place our hands in the side of Jesus, close to his heart. So in the spirit of Easter, let us not limit God, or ourselves.

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, Francois-Joseph Navez, 1823.

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, Francois-Joseph Navez, 1823.

The Poetry of Easter

Our friend Scott Eagan speaks the poetry of life restored!  In this holiest of seasons, may your hearts speak "the most beautiful word ever uttered in any language" to one another.

Happy Easter, friends!

“SUNDAY

Very early
on the first day of the week
when the sun had just risen…

in the darkness of a new tomb hewn out of rock
a naked man steps out of his burial linen
the Son of Man clothed in Light
marked with Passion
and places his foot upon the stony earth.

The Lamb who had been slain and shorn and silenced
Jesus the Christ arises, returning from death robed in glory.

He strides through the rolled-away-stone opening
startling the disbelievers
wiping away every Mary’s tears
encouraging all the disciples
and opening the radiant Flower of everlasting Life.

He greets those who wait
and those who had run away
with the most beautiful word
ever uttered in any language – Shalom
Peace.

He is Risen. Alleluia!”
— Scott Eagan, April 16, 2017

 

 

One Hour Retreat for Holy Week: Who Am I? Where Is My Heart?

Pope Francis’ homily from Palm Sunday 2014 has always remained with me. For this year’s “One Hour Retreat for Holy Week,” I recommend that you first go back to the Passion story as told by Matthew, which we read together at Mass on Sunday. Then read Pope Francis’ reflection below, which is structured around a series of questions, each asking us to examine ourselves and our own place in the story of Jesus’ final hours.

Take your time with each question as you ponder the biblical text. Imagine yourself in the story. Be there with Jesus. Be honest with Jesus.

A very blessed Holy Week and a joyous Easter to each of you!

POPE FRANCIS’ PALM SUNDAY HOMILY 2014

“This week begins with the festive procession with olive branches: the entire populace welcomes Jesus. The children and young people sing, praising Jesus.  But this week continues in the mystery of Jesus’ death and his resurrection. We have just listened to the Passion of our Lord. We might well ask ourselves just one question:  Who am I? Who am I, before my Lord? Who am I, before Jesus who enters Jerusalem amid the enthusiasm of the crowd? Am I ready to express my joy, to praise him? Or do I stand back? Who am I, before the suffering Jesus?

We have just heard many, many names. The group of leaders, some priests, the Pharisees, the teachers of the law, who had decided to kill Jesus. They were waiting for the chance to arrest him. Am I like one of them?

We have also heard another name: Judas. Thirty pieces of silver. Am I like Judas? We have heard other names too: the disciples who understand nothing, who fell asleep while the Lord was suffering. Has my life fallen asleep? Or am I like the disciples, who did not realize what it was to betray Jesus? Or like that other disciple, who wanted to settle everything with a sword? Am I like them? Am I like Judas, who feigns loved and then kisses the Master in order to hand him over, to betray him? Am I a traitor?

Am I like those people in power who hastily summon a tribunal and seek false witnesses: am I like them? And when I do these things, if I do them, do I think that in this way I am saving the people?

Am I like Pilate? When I see that the situation is difficult, do I wash my hands and dodge my responsibility, allowing people to be condemned – or condemning them myself?

Am I like that crowd which was not sure whether they were at a religious meeting, a trial or a circus, and then chose Barabbas? For them it was all the same: it was more entertaining to humiliate Jesus.

Am I like the soldiers who strike the Lord, spit on him, insult him, find entertainment in humiliating him?

Am I like the Cyrenean, who was returning from work, weary, yet was good enough to help the Lord carry his cross?

Am I like those who walked by the cross and mocked Jesus:  “He was so courageous! Let him come down from the cross and then we will believe in him!” Mocking Jesus….

Am I like those fearless women, and like the mother of Jesus, who were there, suffering in silence?

Am I like Joseph [of Arimathea], the hidden disciple, who lovingly carries the body of Jesus to give it burial?

Am I like the two Marys, who remained at the Tomb, weeping and praying?

Am I like those leaders who went the next day to Pilate and said, “Look, this man said that he was going to rise again.  We cannot let another fraud take place!”, and who block life, who block the tomb, in order to maintain doctrine, lest life come forth?

Where is my heart? Which of these persons am I like? May this question remain with us throughout the entire week.”

* * * * *

Homily delivered by Pope Francis from St. Peter’s Square, Vatican, April 13, 2014; to see text on Vatican website, click here.

To see previous years' "One Hour Retreats for Holy Week," click here and here.

Unknown Egyptian artist. Gouache on papyrus. Courtesy Sacred Art Pilgrim.

Unknown Egyptian artist. Gouache on papyrus. Courtesy Sacred Art Pilgrim.

Some Lenten Levity, Courtesy Dorothy Day

In honor of Laetare Sunday (“Rejoice Sunday,” marking roughly our halfway mark through Lent), I thought I’d share a story with quasi-Lenten undertones (that’s a stretch) that made me laugh out loud.

It’s from a wonderful book put together by Rosalie G. Riegle entitled Dorothy Day: Portraits by Those Who Knew Her.  The book is full of impressions, stories and memories about the real Dorothy Day from a wide survey of people who knew her in all sorts of capacities throughout her life.  

A little background on this particular story – apparently Dorothy was known for disliking contemporary music!  Rosalie narrates with the help of longtime Catholic Worker Brian Terrell:

“Often the young [Catholic] Workers would ‘have a hard time understanding the grumbling of their elder leader as an expression of love,’ as Brian Terrell says. ‘For all its craziness, the Worker is a family, and in families it often happens that the elders complain about…the younger generation.’ Brian tells a generational story about Dorothy coming upon some young people at work in Maryhouse and listening to the Carly Simon song ‘I Haven’t Got Time for the Pain.’ Dorothy shook her cane at them and said, ‘You’ve always got to have time for the pain.’”

Dorothy Day! When I'm old enough to shake my cane at people, may God grant me your panache!

I doubt Dorothy ever shook her cane at these four whipper-snappers: Ralph DiGia, Dan Berrigan, Chris Kearns, and Tom Cornell. Photo courtesy of Jim Forest’s online photo album.  Click on the picture to visit Jim’s “Dorothy Day” album.

I doubt Dorothy ever shook her cane at these four whipper-snappers: Ralph DiGia, Dan Berrigan, Chris Kearns, and Tom Cornell. Photo courtesy of Jim Forest’s online photo album.  Click on the picture to visit Jim’s “Dorothy Day” album.

In Every Life: My New Collection of Blog Posts Available on Amazon!

I’m excited to announce that my second book, In Every Life: 50 Reflections, is now available on amazon.com as a paperback or eBook.  In Every Life is a collection of my blogs from 2015-2016. (That Mighty Heart is my 2014 blog collection, also available on amazon.)  To go to the amazon page, click here.

I’m very grateful to my talented and generous brother, John Vineyard, who designed the beautiful cover for me.  Thank you, John!

I’m also proud of the cover because it sports book endorsements from three special people in my life:  Jim Forest, Cackie Upchurch, and Fr. Frank Matera.  Trifecta!

“Amy Ekeh writes one of the best liturgy-centered blogs, as this collection bears witness. Column after column she finds surprising stories that anchor her insights to the real world as well as to the church calendar. And did I mention that she has a sense of humor? If you get the paper edition, put it in a handy location. And if you read the e-book edition, it will be just a few clicks away.” – Jim Forest, author of biographies of Dorothy Day, Thomas Merton and Daniel Berrigan

 “Beadwork is done by selecting the appropriate colors and shapes, having in mind a final look that will make a necklace or bracelet.  It’s a fine craft to create a piece that is beautiful and timeless. In this book, Amy Ekeh proves that she knows how to select just the right colors and shapes of the spiritual life, stringing them together to make a fitting gift. Her sources are liturgy, family life, Scripture, ministry, even the radio!  She’s perfected the art of finding beauty and humor and, therefore, finding God.” – Cackie (Catherine) Upchurch, Director, Little Rock Scripture Study

 “God is always present to us, but we rarely experience that presence. Amy Ekeh, however, has learned to see God’s presence in the ordinary events of life we take for granted. Throughout this book, Amy shows us how to enjoy the God who is always present to us. Read and savor this thoughtful collection of reflections.” – Frank J. Matera, Professor Emeritus, The Catholic University of America

Thanks also to Mary Lee and Joe Gaffney, Jim Creed and Ruth Vineyard for their valuable editorial assistance!

In Every Life is also available at any of my programs. 

If you read the book, I would love for you to review it on amazon.com!

Thank you all for your support and encouragement as blog readers and as friends!